Book Recommendation: Why Won’t You Apologize? by Harriet Lerner
Why are apologies so difficult? Have you ever struggled with how to give or receive a heartfelt apology or even found yourself frustrated by someone’s refusal to say “I’m sorry”? In Why Won’t You Apologize?, renowned psychologist Harriet Lerner masterfully explores the complexity of apology and forgiveness with compassion, clarity, and honesty.
Drawing from decades of clinical experience, Lerner explains why so many apologies fall flat, how defensiveness derails connection, and what it takes to offer a true repair. She unpacks the anatomy of a real apology, one that doesn’t include excuses, blame, or subtle gaslighting, and speaks directly to both the person seeking resolution and the one being asked to take accountability.
This book is particularly powerful for therapists, couples, families, and anyone navigating conflict in personal or professional relationships. Lerner’s wisdom helps readers understand that while forgiveness is optional, a sincere apology can be transformative.
With empathy and sharp insight, Why Won’t You Apologize? is not just about mending rifts, it’s about deepening trust, strengthening boundaries, and reclaiming emotional integrity.
Want more on this? Check out this 2 part interview between the author Harriet Lerner and Dr. Brené Brown!
Part 2: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters-part-2-of-2/
