The Power of Self-Compassion
As a therapist, there are times I notice various themes in my work with clients. It’ll happen in waves where most sessions in a week or a month touch on the same topic. Sometimes it’s grief, communication, fear/anxiety focused work. Lately, it's been compassion, specifically self-compassion. So, I thought I’d keep the conversation about self-compassion going in a blog.
When I think of self-compassion, I think of the work by Kristin Neff. Neff is a pioneering researcher and key figure in the field of self-compassion. Her work, starting in the early 2000s, helped define, measure, and popularize the concept in both psychology and broader self-help contexts. Let’s dive into some her work:
A Definition of Self-Compassion
Neff describes self-compassion as extending kindness and understanding to oneself during instances of pain or failure, rather than being harshly self-critical. It consists of three main components:
Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment: Being gentle and supportive with oneself rather than critical.
Common Humanity vs. Isolation: Recognizing that suffering and failure are part of the shared human experience.
Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification: Holding painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than exaggerating or suppressing them.
A Helpful Assessment
Neff developed the Self-Compassion Scale (SCS), a widely used tool in psychological research, to measure individual differences in self-compassion.
Interested in taking the assessment, here’s a link: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/
A Key Distinction
Self-Esteem vs. Self-Compassion: Unlike self-esteem, which can depend on social comparison or success, self-compassion is a stable, unconditional source of emotional strength.
Recommended Resources by Neff
Her website: https://self-compassion.org/
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive
