How to Connect With Your Inner Child
A while back I wrote a two part blog about the inner child when we are in relationships. Click here to read it if you’re interested:
https://www.getswell.app/resourcehub/inner-child
https://www.getswell.app/resourcehub/your-inner-child-and-your-relationships
I do a lot of work with my clients around their inner child; recognizing she’s there, attuning to her and connecting to her. This is an important process toward healing. I know, it’s a “typical” thing for a therapist to say that we need to talk about your childhood. That’s because so much of who we are is formed in those years. Many beliefs are imprinted at this age, whether adopted from the adults around us or through our experiences. A lot of what we deal with today, for better or worse, is connected to our childhood and therefore, our inner child.
Have you seen the new movie version of Wicked (Part 1) that came out in 2024? I won’t spoil anything if you haven’t yet, it’s safe to keep reading. If you have, do you remember the scene near the end when Elphaba is deciding what she is going to do? To defy gravity or not. The scene when she is falling from the sky (oh no, can she fly or not?), she sees a flashback of herself as a child. I leaned over to my husband and said, “it always comes back to the inner child” (with tears in my eyes)! I strongly believe this is true, so much does come back to the inner child!
A review: What Is the Inner Child?
First, I want to ask you question: What comes to mind when you hear the phrase, “inner child?”
Here is some of what our staff shared when they think of the “inner child:”
basketball, your favorite activity as a child where you felt love and comfort?
the little version of me that still lives in my heart and mind
perhaps trauma? because often when someone talks about the inner child it’s about how they’re healing their own
of your own children and the opportunity you have to do things differently for them
What about you? Something like what our staff thinks of? Maybe just some therapy jargon? Something else?
The inner child is a psychological and emotional part of your subconscious that holds many of your early childhood experiences, wounds, emotions, and traumas. This part of you has been with you all your life and has gathered messages about who you are, about others and the world around you. It’s the part of you that experienced the world when you were young, before you had the words or tools to understand or process it fully. This part can carry the joy, wonder, and creativity from childhood, but it also often holds pain from unmet needs, trauma, or emotional neglect. When those wounds aren’t healed, they can show up in adulthood through emotional reactivity, fears, relationship difficulties, or self-sabotaging behaviors
Have you even experienced being called out by your boss, or lectured by your partner in a way that made you suddenly feel much younger? Or you feel like you’re back in high school being called into the principals office? That’s likely your inner child being stirred up.
Why Connect With Your Inner Child?
Heal Old Wounds
Many of our adult fears, insecurities, and patterns are rooted in unresolved childhood experiences. By recognizing and nurturing your inner child, you begin to heal those hidden wounds with compassion instead of criticism.
Rediscover Joy, Creativity and Play
Children are naturally creative and full of wonder. Reconnecting with that part of you can unlock dormant talents, playful energy, and a renewed zest for life.
Develop Self-Compassion
Speaking to yourself the way you'd speak to a scared or joyful child helps soften your inner critic. You learn to give yourself grace. (See previous blog for more on self-compassion: https://www.getswell.app/resourcehub/the-power-of-compassion)
Strengthen Relationships
When you’re in tune with your own emotional core, you relate to others with more empathy, patience, and authenticity. (Another plug for my previous blog on the inner child and our relationships: https://www.getswell.app/resourcehub/your-inner-child-and-your-relationships)
How to Reconnect With Your Inner Child
1. Remember What Lit You Up
Think back to your childhood passions. Did you love to draw, build forts, play make-believe, or spend hours reading? Try reintroducing those activities into your life—even in small doses.
2. Write a Letter to Your Younger Self
This exercise can be powerful. Picture yourself at a younger age, maybe even find a picture of yourself at that younger age. Tell your younger self what you wish they had heard. Acknowledge their pain, praise their resilience, and offer the love and understanding they may have needed.
3. Practice Inner Child Meditation
Guided meditations can help you visualize your younger self and interact with them. The goal isn’t to fix them, but to listen and be present. Imagine spending time with the younger you.
4. Keep a “Play” List
Not a playlist, but a play list—an actual list of activities that bring you joy with no productive outcome. Dance, doodle, bake cookies, swing on a playground. Whatever feels fun and freeing.
5. Do a Body Scan
When you identify your inner child is activated (usually when we feel younger than we actually are), scan your body looking for body sensations, when you thinking about your inner child, whether triggered or not, where in your body do you feel that part of you?)
6. Go to Therapy
A therapist can help you connect with your inner child and assist in the process of healing any unhealed wounds. Therapists who are trained in IFS, Parts Work can have particular understanding of the inner child but it doesn’t have to be just those modalities.
Connecting with your inner child is not about becoming childish—it’s about becoming whole, fully integrated. It’s about honoring the full spectrum of who you are, from the child you were to the adult you are today. That child is still inside you, waiting to be heard, nurtured, and invited back into your life. By connecting with your inner child, you’re learning to acknowledge and nurture the parts of yourself that may have felt unseen, unheard, or unsafe. Therapy helps create a safe space for that healing, allowing you to give your inner child what they needed then, now.
Reconnecting with this part of yourself can lead to deep healing, renewed energy, and a more authentic life. You don’t need to have all the answers. Just begin by listening.
