Book Recommendation: Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
You know the question, “If you were having a dinner party and you can invite 10 guests, who would you invite?” Esther Perel is one of my 10 for sure! Her wisdom, clinical experience, willingness to ponder and get curious mixed with her ability to capture a concept with brilliantly streamed together words is inspiring and enlightening.
In her insightful book, Mating in Captivity, renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel explores the complex intersection of intimacy, desire, and long-term relationships. Perel challenges the conventional wisdom that emotional closeness always leads to better sex. Instead, she argues that erotic desire thrives in space, mystery, and individual freedom—elements often lost in modern relationships.
Drawing from her extensive clinical experience and multicultural background, Perel offers a thought-provoking and compassionate look at how couples can sustain passion without sacrificing emotional security. Her writing is insightful, bold, and refreshingly honest, making the book both intellectually stimulating and deeply relatable.
Whether you're in a relationship, single, or a professional working with couples, Mating in Captivity offers valuable perspectives that can shift how you think about love, sex, and connection. It's not a traditional self-help book—it’s an invitation to rethink what we expect from intimacy and how to keep desire alive.
Perel has an abundance of information and resources on her website: https://www.estherperel.com/?categories=Eroticism
Want more from Perel? Check out her interview on “What now?” with Trevor Noah:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0DX4hSD45oambAxnqDGzCF?si=FYSmo0-eRpakRu_C3KRw_g
And two interviews on Armchair Expert with Dax Shephard:
